Badass to the Bone!

I’ve been doing absolutely horrible on my eating right and exercise plan for 2012 for the last two weeks!  Not sure why it so damn easy to fall off the wagon but any change in schedule is enough for me to find myself running behind the wagon – just half heartily gimping along acting like I’m really trying to get back on board.  My down fall is sugar (well primarily – we’ll ignore fat for this conversation) and I cannot tell you how many sweet tarts I ate last week.   So between all the sugar around the office last week and my sales meeting throwing me off my exercise schedule …OY.  Yes I know and can hear it myself…..EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES!! 

So last night I sat up and tortured myself by watching a marathon of “My 600lb life”!  First, for the record I don’t have body dimorphic disease.  I know I’m not close to where those people are.  I know that it would take years for me to get there however, I do feel like given the right set of circumstances I could get close.  From what I saw all you need is an enabler (I have one – Hubby), a food addiction ( If I don’t have one I’ve got to be pretty close), be predisposed to weight gain and lastly be able to justify bad behavior!  Well that would be me in a nutshell – CRAP! I really need to get rid of my enabler!!  OK, that was a joke but kind of ironic that I choose the one trait that has nothing to do with me changing….Y’all pray for me!!

Anyway, it’s back on the grind this week.  Back to eating better – NO CANDY, NO JUNKFOOD – Funny cutting those two things out of my diet is enough to get me to a steady 1-2lbs a week weight loss.  UGH that truth is so ugly sometimes.  NO CANDY! NO JUNKFOOD!  By default that makes my diet low card because that’s how I get my carbs other than that I’m a meat eater by nature.  Also back to exercise – its Monday so its ZUMBA night! 

So this year is the year of the Badass!  Part of being a badass is finishing the things I start.  Getting things off my bucket list and looking like the person I see in my head!  She is a badass!!

Good thing I don’t have to do it all by myself:

Philippians 1:6

⁶Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Yes, I knit

So here’s what I figured out the other day.  If you doing anything constructive/creative outside of work, church (in my circles anyway) and family.  You are lumped in to a group of people with “too much time on your hands” or the dreaded people with “nothing else better to do”.  It seems that lots of people are just too busy to do or pursue anything that they actually love or like to do and because they are sooooo busy they resent anyone who chooses otherwise and in their resentment they marginalize your work and your life/time to make themselves feel better.

So if you know me you are already laughing because you also know that I’m about to go bullshit on a few people!

First, yes I knit!  Why that is such a freaking shocker to people is beyond me.  Is there a type of woman that knits and I simply don’t fit the bill?  Or are you just so narrow-minded and ignorant that you believe that young(ish) black woman are too busy making babies and drinking malt liquor or selling out and castrating their men to actually choose and be proficient at a productive and beautiful craft?  Which one is it?  Here’s a shocker, I have other friends who knit, crochet, scrapbook, take pictures etc.  Who are accomplished, well rounded, happy, involved woman with families, jobs, lives, responsibilities and OH MY GOODNESS will wonder ever cease….TIME to do what they love to do! 

Second, NO I’m not making you anything so please stop asking!  Quit boring me with your lame and INSULTING excuses

How is it that you can stand in my face and say… “I wish I had time to do something like that” and then ask me to make you something?   Am I in the twilight zone?  Btw…how many hours of TV do you watch a night.  Statics say that the average American watches 34 hours a week of television.  That is close to 5 hours a day!  Just 6 hours short of a full time job!  So even if you (Ms. Make me a shawl) are on the low end of the spectrum.  You have plenty of time to make your own damn shawl. 

I love when you say….”I can’t learn how to do that or I’m not good at stuff like that.”  Really, stuff like what? When was the last time you tried stuff like this? Is that comment meant as a compliment?  Well for the record is comes of condescending , disingenuous and patronizing , ESPECIALLY when you follow it up with…You should make me one of those.   Uh, yeah the answer is NO again.  The origin of knitting goes back to the 11^th century, surely if some peasant girl in Egypt can figure it out, you can.  Unless of course, I’ve mistakenly thought you were just narrow-minded and ignorant and it turns out  you have real mental deficiency; then maybe you don’t have the hand/eye coordination or mental capacity to pull knitting off.  If that is the case…..I’m sorry and will add you to the charity projects list.  Just know that I’m already committed to the oncology ward, the veteran’s hospital and the city mission this year so it won’t be coming anytime soon. 

No you cannot pay me to make you the scarf I made my sister/mother/friend/husband/daughter/etc.  Well you could……. but once I told you what it was cost (taking into consideration my time), you informed me that you could buy one for Wal-Mart for $10 or Macy’s for $30.  Which of course makes me wonder why your time is so valuable but mine is worth only between $.10 to $.1.25 and hour!  How a person is supposed to NOT get offended by this mess is beyond me.

Lastly, Yes I knit/crochet and have been known to scrapbook.  Not because I’m a person with a ton of time on my hand but because I CHOOSE to spend the time I do have creating something I think is beautiful.  Because time is the most precious of all commodities and when I spend it making something for someone I love they know it cannot be undone, returned or unspent.  Because spending my life and time producing something that is not only beautiful but tangible is important to me. 

It’s not that we have too much time or nothing better to do.  In fact, it seems to me that all these crafts of love are about time…not wasting it or using it up but spending it!  Spending it wisely 

My goddaughter said something to me the other day that speaks to my love of knitting and how I think about the time I spend doing it.

“Auntie, you know why I love you?”

“Why?” I said

“Because you were there for my mommy”

Because I was there, sitting, chatting waiting laughing, SPENDING TIME when her mommy needed it. (and yes I brought my knitting J)